Every alternate Christmas, I spend with my sons. They are a joy and a trial. Any parent will know, almost implicitly, what that means. This is an off year. They are with their mother having traveled to the other coast to spend Christmas with her and her family. What that affords me is a time to reflect because, well, that is one of the things I do.
I grew up watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, The Little Drummer Boy, and so many more themes that, over the years, have changed. Did you grow up with these stories? They taught me a few lessons that I really didn't think about until they were lost. I don't want them to be lost, so I'm going to muse about them here.
First, and seemingly tangentially, let me say that I do not like bullying. Competition is a reality of life, but should be tempered with sportsmanship. Bullying is a form of competition without the sportsmanship. Why do I mention this?
Recently, I saw a picture that had a strong statement that included a reference to Rudolph. In context, it was a very positive statement of compassion for the underdog (not Underdog, although I may address him, someday, as well). I don't remember the way it went, exactly, but what essentially it said was that we need to be open to the differences between people and not look down on them. Viewing the story of Rudolph in this light, the other reindeer appear to be bullies. I agree with the sentiment, but am saddened by the interpretation.
As I was growing up, we understood that life was hard. Make no mistake, "life" neither cares for or against you. The caring comes from those around you. The caring will come from your mother, father, sister, brother, boyfriend, girlfriend, son, daughter, grand parents/children, pets, coworkers, friends, neighbors, passing strangers, and so on. You won't always understand the form of that caring. In fact, you will often misunderstand the caring until it is "too late" (if "too late" is possible, again, another topic).
Where did I learn these things? From stories like Rudolph in the lost context of the times. From the context of "we are all in this together and each of us can contribute something." The magic is to not feel sorry for yourself and just find that "something." Rudolph found it.
You may remember some of the stories that I remember. Each had a message that sticks with me today, a "few" years later. Each, in its own way, said "find your special place and help us all."
The story of the really small person that couldn't run, jump, climb, etc like the "normal" kids. I don't even remember if they made fun of him, it doesn't matter. What mattered is that he was the only one that could fit in a small place and help the king find something, maybe his crown under some immovable chair.
The story of the mouse and the lion where the small mouse was able to help the enormous lion by pulling a thorn from his paw.
And, Rudolph, who I had never thought of as having been made fun of in a mean way, only that his parents tried to help him cover up his "difference", his father was bothered by his difference at work and his friends picked on the aspect he hadn't been allowed to identify with other than as a "difference." Once he found a way to accept himself as he was and that this difference could be seen as a strength, he became part of society.
The one thing I wish for us all is that we can stop looking at how we are downtrodden, how we are "different" (as if that is a bad thing), how we are kept apart; and see that by allowing these differences to hold us back, we give power to the hate groups and separationists. Do you care? If so, then help somebody see that their difference isn't really all that different. Help them join the rest of us on Misfit Island, also known as "the real world."
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